SCREW PHOTOSHOP!

MS Paint…the medium of true art.

A birthday girl celebrates.

SP! contributor, A, has let us all join in on her evening birthday celebration with the following piece:

birthday components

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August 12, 2009 Posted by | A's drawings, story, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Hump Day!

jambone

L: she totally is the girl that won’t say penis or dick
K:
i don’t think i’ve ever heard her use the word sex, or several people I know for that matter…
L:
she’ll call it a wee-wee or something
K:
LOL
so true
L:
unlike us who find the word sex to mundane
so we need to call it jamboning
or banging
K:
i think by using childish terminology  she finds sleeping with everyone less slutty
i just own it
yea
i realized this weekend that banging might by kinda harsh/crass
to most
L:
I like it
K:
me too
L:
it’s more of a literal term
K:
its my euphemism of choice
I used to like “porking”
but that has a bad visual
funny nonetheless
L:
eh…makes me feel fat
indeed
I am also enjoyed “bumping uglies”
K:
ooh yes
L:
not sure why, again bad visual
K:
a good one
OOOhHH
this sounds like a list opportunity
L:
ohhh…good call

Thus we present you…


P1:
5 favorite:

  1. Jamboning (of course!)
  2. Playing the skin flute
  3. Knockin da boots!
  4. Ride the Baloney Pony
  5. And of course F*ck.  Can we swear on this thing??

5 least favorite:

  1. Opening the meat curtains
  2. Horizontal Mambo
  3. Doing it
  4. Hot Beef Injection
  5. Banging

P2:
Favorite

  1. Jambone – Classic
  2. Bang – Easy to say and remember, even when inebriated.
  3. Bump Uglies – Doesn’t give the best visual, but me likes none the less.
  4. Screw – Also useful when you find a screw on the ground and then you can ask “Wanna Screw?” Never get old.
  5. Throwing a hot dog down a hallway – As long as it’s not in reference to me, it’s hilarious.
Least Favorite
  1. Intercourse – Are we taking pictures for a textbook?
  2. Raw Dogging – Nasty
  3. Watch a movie – Generally only used to try and get someone to have sex, but we all know what it really means.
  4. Make Love – Unless you are in a committed relationship, it’s just downright creepy to say it.  And even still, it makes any dude sounds like a total asshat.
  5. Horizontal Mambo – Just plain ole no.

P3:
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy.

10 Favorites (in no particular order):

  1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
  2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
  3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
  4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
  5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
  6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
  7. Screwing.
  8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
  9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
  10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

  1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
  2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
  3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
  4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
  5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
  6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
  7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
  8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
  9. Beating – really?
  10. Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy. 10 Favorites (in no particular order):

1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
7. Screwing.
8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
9. Beating – really?
10.Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?

August 12, 2009 Posted by | K's drawings, Uncategorized, useless information | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chipotle

one of our contributors loves her some chipotle…

chipotle

August 4, 2009 Posted by | E's drawings | , , | 1 Comment