SP! contributor, A, has let us all join in on her evening birthday celebration with the following piece:
Do you take requests? I would like to see something featuring a banana in pajamas (B1 or B2, I have no preference) and a monkey on a unicycle, who may or may not be playing a tambourine.
Well yes, in fact, we do!
A: Here’s the monkey! He has a distraught look on his face because not only is he riding his unicycle over broken glass, but soon he will have to face jumping through the ring of fire. While playing his tambourine.
L: Have you ever wondered where those tiny little bananas come from at the grocery store? I think I may have figured it out. You can thank me later.
A: That is awesome!!!! I bet they don’t need lube! But I have one question, if they are bananas, does the man-ana have a little banana?
I drew something for you in my free time. Its a Minotaur, but he’s been put to sleep by the magical flute of a forest gnome. Typical event in a magical, Greek-mythology inspired forest, my friend.
Someone needs to serve hot dogs and burgers and this lunch lady is up for the job!
K: I had a dream the night before last which included you.
Essentially what happened was I was sitting in our living room flipping through some magazines…I believe it was Mademoiselle or Vanity Fair or some shit which was the tip off that this was in fact a dream. So anyway, I’m flipping away, browsing the pictures of celebrities at their celebrity parties and what not and something catches my eye. There is a picture of some famous person cruise shindig or whathaveyou and a few things strike me as odd:
a. This picture is of Angela Lansbury (or perhaps Jessica Fletcher), Blanch Devereaux and Samuel L. Jackson – they seriously hang out??
b. Everyone is extremely dressed up for being on the sun deck of a cruise ship.
and c. Off to the side is you – clearly not famous, hopping into the pic (not even sure if they noticed you), but get this – You’re wearing a bright purple sparkly sequined fucking beret! HA! That was the kicker.
And though this is not completely accurate (ie. blanch is not wearing the gown i envisioned…) this is as close of a picture as I can paint for you of what I saw in my dream. Don’t be intimidated by my excellent cut and paste skills. Enjoy.
Due to tough economic times, Hermiscus the town wizard found that wizardry was just not paying the bills anymore. In order to put food on his table and magic powder in his pocket, he was forced to take a second job as a farmer. It was either that or a waiter at the local “Bullets and Burgers” restaurant/shooting range. He decided that working with the land was the way to go. Although we probably should question his wizarding skills if he can’t even make money or food appear out of thin air. HMMMM?
K: where do hippos live?
E: in africa?
E: it looks like he has a ballsack on his face.
you made me draw a fucking hippo in ms paint
E: i am impressed with your use of color.
K: Well thank you.
hippos remind me of rainbows
E: is he a jesus hippo?
K: Funny you ask.
or should I say was…
he was supposed to board the ark with his hippo life partner Sal. Sadly, Hal (this hippo), was busy drinking whiskey and ate one too many quaaludes and ended up passing out beneath the steamy waters of the Nile and was left behind to bask in his drunken glory under the beautiful African sunset. If I were Jesus, he’d be my favorite…