SCREW PHOTOSHOP!

MS Paint…the medium of true art.

Happy Hump Day!

jambone

L: she totally is the girl that won’t say penis or dick
K:
i don’t think i’ve ever heard her use the word sex, or several people I know for that matter…
L:
she’ll call it a wee-wee or something
K:
LOL
so true
L:
unlike us who find the word sex to mundane
so we need to call it jamboning
or banging
K:
i think by using childish terminology  she finds sleeping with everyone less slutty
i just own it
yea
i realized this weekend that banging might by kinda harsh/crass
to most
L:
I like it
K:
me too
L:
it’s more of a literal term
K:
its my euphemism of choice
I used to like “porking”
but that has a bad visual
funny nonetheless
L:
eh…makes me feel fat
indeed
I am also enjoyed “bumping uglies”
K:
ooh yes
L:
not sure why, again bad visual
K:
a good one
OOOhHH
this sounds like a list opportunity
L:
ohhh…good call

Thus we present you…


P1:
5 favorite:

  1. Jamboning (of course!)
  2. Playing the skin flute
  3. Knockin da boots!
  4. Ride the Baloney Pony
  5. And of course F*ck.  Can we swear on this thing??

5 least favorite:

  1. Opening the meat curtains
  2. Horizontal Mambo
  3. Doing it
  4. Hot Beef Injection
  5. Banging

P2:
Favorite

  1. Jambone – Classic
  2. Bang – Easy to say and remember, even when inebriated.
  3. Bump Uglies – Doesn’t give the best visual, but me likes none the less.
  4. Screw – Also useful when you find a screw on the ground and then you can ask “Wanna Screw?” Never get old.
  5. Throwing a hot dog down a hallway – As long as it’s not in reference to me, it’s hilarious.
Least Favorite
  1. Intercourse – Are we taking pictures for a textbook?
  2. Raw Dogging – Nasty
  3. Watch a movie – Generally only used to try and get someone to have sex, but we all know what it really means.
  4. Make Love – Unless you are in a committed relationship, it’s just downright creepy to say it.  And even still, it makes any dude sounds like a total asshat.
  5. Horizontal Mambo – Just plain ole no.

P3:
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy.

10 Favorites (in no particular order):

  1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
  2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
  3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
  4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
  5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
  6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
  7. Screwing.
  8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
  9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
  10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

  1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
  2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
  3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
  4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
  5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
  6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
  7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
  8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
  9. Beating – really?
  10. Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy. 10 Favorites (in no particular order):

1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
7. Screwing.
8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
9. Beating – really?
10.Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?

Advertisements

August 12, 2009 - Posted by | K's drawings, Uncategorized, useless information | , , , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. I’m so excited that my alter ego made it to the top of 2 lists.

    PS who wrote each list?

    Comment by Jambone | August 12, 2009 | Reply

  2. How could you forget these classics of good or bad? Riding the Bone Rollercoaster, Parting the Porpoise, Taking it Through the Car Wash, and Cancelling my Porn Subscription(s).

    Comment by Biers | August 12, 2009 | Reply


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: