SCREW PHOTOSHOP!

MS Paint…the medium of true art.

spiders killing spiders

Editors note: This drawing was actually sent in a few weeks ago in conjunction with our “collection of spiders” post. There was much procrastination and the guest artist is officially ticked-off. Here’s the olive branch.

spiders

E to L, K, A: We have a guest submission for the spider collection. Enjoy.

A: Oh that is mean!!

K: … and hilarious 🙂

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August 25, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , | 2 Comments

Guest artist: a series of non-smoking ads

Harry

DinoSmoking

August 24, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , | Leave a comment

The dueling nuts.

War

E: so i realized that the dualing nuts are underneath a rainbow.

are they gay?

L: they are dualing nuts…

actually I hadn’t really decided to make them gay but wanted to make my drawing slightly more gay so what would be better than a rainbow
E: now that i think about it… is it “dual” or “duel”?
L: duel
good call
E: dueling?
that looks wrong.
L: I think it is right
although we should make sure because god knows biers will catch it if it is wrong
E: i love google.
L: ditto

August 14, 2009 Posted by | L's drawings | , , , , , | 1 Comment

A birthday girl celebrates.

SP! contributor, A, has let us all join in on her evening birthday celebration with the following piece:

birthday components

August 12, 2009 Posted by | A's drawings, story, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Hump Day!

jambone

L: she totally is the girl that won’t say penis or dick
K:
i don’t think i’ve ever heard her use the word sex, or several people I know for that matter…
L:
she’ll call it a wee-wee or something
K:
LOL
so true
L:
unlike us who find the word sex to mundane
so we need to call it jamboning
or banging
K:
i think by using childish terminology  she finds sleeping with everyone less slutty
i just own it
yea
i realized this weekend that banging might by kinda harsh/crass
to most
L:
I like it
K:
me too
L:
it’s more of a literal term
K:
its my euphemism of choice
I used to like “porking”
but that has a bad visual
funny nonetheless
L:
eh…makes me feel fat
indeed
I am also enjoyed “bumping uglies”
K:
ooh yes
L:
not sure why, again bad visual
K:
a good one
OOOhHH
this sounds like a list opportunity
L:
ohhh…good call

Thus we present you…


P1:
5 favorite:

  1. Jamboning (of course!)
  2. Playing the skin flute
  3. Knockin da boots!
  4. Ride the Baloney Pony
  5. And of course F*ck.  Can we swear on this thing??

5 least favorite:

  1. Opening the meat curtains
  2. Horizontal Mambo
  3. Doing it
  4. Hot Beef Injection
  5. Banging

P2:
Favorite

  1. Jambone – Classic
  2. Bang – Easy to say and remember, even when inebriated.
  3. Bump Uglies – Doesn’t give the best visual, but me likes none the less.
  4. Screw – Also useful when you find a screw on the ground and then you can ask “Wanna Screw?” Never get old.
  5. Throwing a hot dog down a hallway – As long as it’s not in reference to me, it’s hilarious.
Least Favorite
  1. Intercourse – Are we taking pictures for a textbook?
  2. Raw Dogging – Nasty
  3. Watch a movie – Generally only used to try and get someone to have sex, but we all know what it really means.
  4. Make Love – Unless you are in a committed relationship, it’s just downright creepy to say it.  And even still, it makes any dude sounds like a total asshat.
  5. Horizontal Mambo – Just plain ole no.

P3:
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy.

10 Favorites (in no particular order):

  1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
  2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
  3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
  4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
  5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
  6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
  7. Screwing.
  8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
  9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
  10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

  1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
  2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
  3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
  4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
  5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
  6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
  7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
  8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
  9. Beating – really?
  10. Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?
So i thought this would be hard, hence limiting to 5, but once i got started i couldn’t stop… ::don’t stop til you get enough:: Enjoy. 10 Favorites (in no particular order):

1. Banging – classic. to the point. not too crass, not too prude.
2. Getting stuffed – (this term is generally used by males, which leads me to think one of two things about said users: 1. they are hung, 2. they have a severely distorted reality.  Regardless, the fact the someone would use this allows you to immediately cast judgment on their character – hence my liking.)
3. Fornication.  – This is the closest I’ll ever get to religion…
4. Doing the nasty.  – kind of a throwback to the 80’s in my mind
5. Hanky Panky/Getting your jollies.  – I like the whimsy that is implied.
6. Parking the beef bus in tuna town.  – I’m sorry, this is funny.  And if you don’t think so, go fuck yourself.
7. Screwing.
8. Slap skins – very literal.  I like the realistic expectation.
9. Beat cheeks – I can appreciate the ASSonance.
10. Get it on/ass knockin’/sexual healing – Good songs, good euphemisms


10 Least Favorites (again in no particular order):

1. “Sleepover Parties” or “playing doctor” – putting sex in juvenile terms hardly negates that having lots of ‘parties’ makes you no longer a prude. (not that I’m judging on that account; an old lady on Leno once said “if you’re gonna be a whore, be a whore” which I’ve bestowed as my life’s motto.
2. Porking –  Bad visual. Makes me want breakfast.
3. Rawdogging – All implications are just a little too dirty and a little too negative.
4. Blasting – Are we going to the moon and playing with super soakers? Because I thought we were just gonna have sex…
5. “Throwing a hot dog down a hallway”  ’nuff said.
6. The Humpty Dance/Nookie/Wild thing – great songs, bad euphemisms
7. Horizontal Mambo – cliche.  And setting the bar a little too high…
8. Poking – you can thank facebook for ruining this one
9. Beating – really?
10.Doing the deed – is this a chore or something?? wtf?

August 12, 2009 Posted by | K's drawings, Uncategorized, useless information | , , , , , , | 2 Comments

By request:

Do you take requests? I would like to see something featuring a banana in pajamas (B1 or B2, I have no preference) and a monkey on a unicycle, who may or may not be playing a tambourine.

Well yes, in fact, we do!

A: Here’s the monkey!  He has a distraught look on his face because not only is he riding his unicycle over broken glass, but soon he will have to face jumping through the ring of fire.  While playing his tambourine.

monkey

L: Have you ever wondered where those tiny little bananas come from at the grocery store?  I think I may have figured it out.  You can thank me later.

A: That is awesome!!!!  I bet they don’t need lube!  But I have one question, if they are bananas, does the man-ana have a little banana?

Pj Party



August 10, 2009 Posted by | A's drawings, L's drawings, story, Uncategorized, useless information | Leave a comment

A late entry…

So this is Billy Bob the Flamingo.  He does indeed have ADD, but he has got that all under control with his 54-72 milligrams of Ritalin he takes everyday.  We are not sure if he actually gets it from a doctor, but hey whatever works.  Since he has got that shiz under control, he hangs out by his trailor all day long, drinking Miller Genuine Draft from a helmet that he rigged into his beer helmet.  He is very proud of that helmet.  You see, he made that when he was in the eye of the ADD tornado.  Now he would never have the energy to make something of that degree again since the Ritalin makes him want to hang out all day long, like life should be.  He also does not have the energy to water his grass.


ADD Flamingo

August 10, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Guest Artist: A lady feels inspired

I drew something for you in my free time.  Its a Minotaur, but he’s been put to sleep by the magical flute of a forest gnome.  Typical event in a magical, Greek-mythology inspired forest, my friend.

caitlin

August 10, 2009 Posted by | mythical creatures, story, useless information | 1 Comment

Our blog goes interactive!

Help us end the epic “Battle of the ADD Flamingos”!  Check out the post below and then cast your vote!

August 7, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

A list gone wrong

K to E, L, A: List for today: If you had 100,000 grand today, and you’re debts were wiped clean, what would you spend it on…?

E: I would use it to send K to grammar school so that she can learn the proper uses/forms of “your/you’re” and “their, they’re”.

K: f*ck off.  I would send you to k-9 training academy w/o armor so dogs could rips your limbs off.

or should i say you’re limbs off…

E: one of these days you should start using the default “freebie” and just say that you never learned grammar because you were an underprivileged youth and you went to an inner city school.

K: First tier suburb, thank you.  (side note: shouldn’t you be answering a phone or something right now…?)

L: Girls…Girls…The only way so settle this is a gold old fashioned MS Paint draw off.

Inspiration…The past times of a ADD ridden flamingo.

GO!!

*the following is a side conversation that occurred shortly after the draw off challenge was issued:

L: I see you have been hard at work this morning

E: of course! that drawing is a tough one.
L: well it has to be if it is a competition
E: true.
but…. what does anyone with ADD do?
L: a lot of stuff
all at once
E: all flamingos do is sleep.
L: not when they have ADD
E: ahhh…..
and there-in lies the problem.
E: well i have a good background going
but still no clue what to do with the flamingo.
L: You can do it
I believe in you.
E: i think K cheated.
she didn’t draw all of hers.
L: just because you didn’t think of it…doesn’t make it cheating
E: oh, i see how it is
you’ve already decided who won.
L: nope
E: i’m not even done with mine yet!
this isn’t fair!!
*meanwhile, K started talking smack:

K: you’re jsut jealous

wants some haterade to go with your hatertots??
E: jealous of what??
your minority status?
K: my flamingo
so not cheating
using creative resources
E: lazy.
K: busy
E: i bet they taught you that in the inner city school. half assed jobs.
and now, what you’ve all been waiting for — the drawings
K’s drawing:

Not only is this flamingo ADD ridden...he Flammy also loves the spotlight and lil' Neil Diamond...

Not only is this flamingo ADD ridden...he Flammy also loves the spotlight and lil' Neil Diamond...

E’s drawing:

A yard care aficianado, Phinaeus the Flamingo spends some time cleaning his pool. Due to severe ADD, Phinaeus is always on the move and preps himself for a long day of mowing and hedge trimming by drinking some coffee and downing some Adderall.

A yard care aficianado, Phinaeus the Flamingo spends some time cleaning his pool. Due to severe ADD, Phinaeus is always on the move and preps himself for a long day of mowing and hedge trimming by drinking some coffee and downing some Adderall.


August 7, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments