SCREW PHOTOSHOP!

MS Paint…the medium of true art.

Creepiness… on a scale of 1-10.

We haven’t done lists in awhile, and we thought that with the upcoming holiday this might be entertaining:

The challenge: On a scale of 0-10 (0 being not at all and 10 being horribly), how creepy do you find the following items? Feel free to explain your answer.

Cobwebs
Spiders
The show Ghosthunters
Moths
Pubes on the toilet seat of a public restroom
Clowns
Haunted hayrides
Tightey whiteys
Centipedes
Windowless van
Random people touching you
Wasps
A hairless man (yes, I mean completely hairless)
Crotchless underwear
Crotchless girdles
Seeing your parents naked
Seeing your parents naked together
Junebugs
Masked man with a chainsaw
Masked man with a chainsaw in your closet
Clown with a chainsaw in your closet
Gay man in your closet
Grasshoppers
Molestorstaches

L’s answers:

Cobwebs – 4 – Don’t mind them as long as I am not walking in to them.  Or god forbid one gets in my mouth.
Spiders – 10 – Can’t even watch them on TV or I have nightmares.
The show Ghosthunters – 6 – The fact that the guys doing the hunting are overaged frat boys adds some comic relief to the whole thing.
Moths – 3 – Again don’t mind them unless they potentially may get caught in my hair.
Pubes on the toilet seat of a public restroom – 10 – I never know what to do.  Use your shoe to wipe it away? Use toilet paper and risk touching it?  Or blowing at it and risk it flying on to your pants or in your face.
Clowns – 10! 10! 10! – Need I say more?
Haunted hayrides – 8 for about 30 secs until I realized how stupid it is, then a 3.
Tightey whiteys – Now this depends if we are talking about the Dolce and Gabana model in them a big fat 0, I would go in to negatives if that showed hom un-creepy it is.  On the other hand if we are talking, let’s say a real life version of Peter Griffin in tightey whiteys I would say 10 all the way.
Centipedes – 0 – I am saying that just to spite you K!!
Windowless van – I am assuming you are talking about a 1986 two toned brown van with cream pinestripes tinted front windows and parked near a playground. I am giving it a solid 10.
Random people touching you – Are they hot?
Wasps – 3 as long as they stay away from my soda.
A hairless man (yes, I mean completely hairless) – 10 – That would make me feel like a pedophile.
Crotchless underwear – Never tried them, so who am I to judge?
Crotchless girdles – 0 – What could possibly be creepy about that?
Seeing your parents naked – 10
Seeing your parents naked together – 10,000,000,000
Junebugs – 0
Masked man with a chainsaw – 9
Masked man with a chainsaw in your closet – 10
Clown with a chainsaw in your closet – Of the charts, even worse than seeing my parents naked together.
Gay man in your closet – Now why would that be creepy?  He is probably cleaning and organizing it.
Grasshoppers – 2
Molestorstaches – Depends on the age and degree of hipsterness.

A’s answers:

Cobwebs-3.
Spiders-10.  Especially the one that was living in my mattress!!
The show Ghosthunters-0.  I have to see it to believe it.
Moths-0.  They are just colorless butterflies in my world.
Pubes on the toilet seat of a public restroom-10.  Oh god.  Oh god.
Clowns-10.  They come to visit me in my dreams.
Haunted hayrides-8.
Tightey whiteys-20.  Wrong, oh so wrong.
Centipedes-2.  The more legs the better.
Windowless van-0.  Are you  implying that my ride of choice is creepy?
Random people touching you-5.  Depends where.  Ladies?
Wasps-0.  The people who freak out when they see them are creepy.
A hairless man (yes, I mean completely hairless)-5.  Gross!  Although you lessen the risk of finding man pubes in random places around your house, like on the counter.
Crotchless underwear-10.  Just take them off for cryin out loud.  Seems like they could be an infection waiting to happen.
Crotchless girdles-0.  Got them and am thankful for that hole.
Seeing your parents naked-0.  Not a problem.
Seeing your parents naked together-0.  Is cool.
Junebugs-9.  I had a horrific experience once as a child.
Masked man with a chainsaw-10
Masked man with a chainsaw in your closet-20.
Clown with a chainsaw in your closet-40.  Yup, probably the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone.
Gay man in your closet—10!  And I don’t mean 10, I mean negative 10.  I would love to have a gay man in my closet to go out and share chocolate martinis with!
Grasshoppers-2.  They are okay as long as they keep their distance from me.
Molestorstaches-3.  Sometimes the look works.

K’s answers:

Cobwebs 5
Spiders 9.7
The show Ghosthunters 0 – not at all creepy, however extremely awesome.  Would totally bang that guy too…
Moths 6, more gross than anything…
Pubes on the toilet seat of a public restroom 9.9, especially in the chicks room.  Wtf? A. why are they long enough for me to see and B. why are they falling out???  Alopecia of the crotch?
Clowns 1.  I like watching others think they’re creepy
Haunted hayrides 8.8 – I hate things popping out of the dark and don’t like being scared.
Tightey whiteys 4. More amusing than anything, but I have concern for those wearing them b/c they seriously think they’re sexy.  Case in point: Good – http://cdn.faniq.com/images/blog/9d894c771905024651b3e2de9f182d7c.jpg Not good: http://alisyngreenroom.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/1.jpg
Centipedes 13.  Sick.
Windowless van 5  I drove one for a while (as did you) and we’re not THAT creepy…
Random people touching you TBD – Hot or Not?
Wasps 6, more scary than creepy
A hairless man (yes, I mean completely hairless) 5 Not gonna bang him but preferred to TOO hairy man.
Crotchless underwear 6.  Why wear’em?  You obviously plan to bang.
Crotchless girdles Those exist?  Wtf…no comment.
Seeing your parents naked 10.  Mental image is bad enough.
Seeing your parents naked together See above.
Junebugs 0.  What the fuck is a Junebug?  I thought it was just a nickname black people use…
Masked man with a chainsaw 5.  Unless he’s running after you…then 16
Masked man with a chainsaw in your closet 12
Clown with a chainsaw in your closet 2
Gay man in your closet 0 Every gay man is in the closet at some point, so he happens to come out of mine…  7 if I banged him first unknowingly
Grasshoppers .2
Molestorstaches Depends on the context – 3.7

E’s answers:

Cobwebs7. i hate being surprised by these when you’re innocently walking somewhere at night.
Spiders
10, and it multiplies exponentially the closer they get to me. crawling on me is off the charts. eeek.
The show Ghosthunters
8. i have made the mistake of watching this when i’m home alone. fortunately, the host is hot as hell and i probably would feel nice and safe (and not creepy) if he could hold me in those beefy arms of his. mmm.
Moths
6. these are really only creepy when they’re trapped in your house and keep bumping into the window trying to get out. or when their creepy little feet land on you.
Pubes on the toilet seat of a public restroom
9.8. how did it get there?? did you not notice when you flushed that you had lost something? are there more that fell on the floor and are now stuck to my shoe??
Clowns
7 from a distance, 12 if they come anywhere near me.
Haunted hayrides
- in retrospect, these aren’t really “creepy”. however, the 19 year old dudes who get wasted, go on these, and proceed to hit on 14 year old girls are definitely creepy. i’ll give them a solid 9.
Tightey whiteys
- if there’s streak marks, 8. colored tighteys are ok, as are clean whiteys. this also depends on the person wearing them. molestorstache + windowless van + clean whiteys = still creepy.
Centipedes
9.5. i shudder just thinking about them. sooooo many legs…
Windowless van
0. i think scooby doo & shaggy had a windowless van, and they weren’t creepy.
Random people touching you
17. i don’t care if you’re hot, get your germ covered hands away from me.
Wasps
4. similar to moths, these are mostly creepy when they’re stuck in your house. like the one in my house now (which was the original inspiration for this list) that thinks he would be happier outside in the rain.
A hairless man (yes, I mean completely hairless)
10.
Crotchless underwear
8.5. mostly because the lack of crotch means lack of a barrier between your vag and your pants/skirt/chair. sick.
Crotchless girdles
8.5, as the likelihood that you’ll accidentally pee on them is extremely high.
Seeing your parents naked
70
Seeing your parents naked together
102
Junebugs
7 when flying, 19 when you wake up with one crawling on your face.
Masked man with a chainsaw
3. he’s probably just wearing protective gear while he chops wood for the romantic fire he’s going to be making me later.
Masked man with a chainsaw in your closet
6. he’s still making me that fire, right?
Clown with a chainsaw in your closet
30. although i can’t really decide on this one, because i think i’d be more mystified than creeped out. how did i not notice a clown in my house? and how the hell did he fit that chainsaw into my closet? is that a trick chainsaw?
Gay man in your closet
0. please tell me what to wear.
Grasshoppers
5. sticky legs = creepy.
Molestorstaches
7, unless it’s on a baseball player. then its awesome.

October 15, 2009 Posted by | useless information | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

scuba cowboy v. snorkeling man eating plants

where's my weed killer?!

where's my weed killer?!

the guest artist, whom we shall call “R“, strikes again, sparking conversation…

K: OMG. Does R have a job?!? And they have to stop being so good or I’m going to boycott…

A: There should be a rule that guest artists should not have cooler drawings than us! I am going to attempt a deep sea diver once all my redbull has worn off — I should not drink that stuff with my ADD medicine! Holy moly!!!!!!!

L: Seriously, how does he even do that.

LI can’t believe how good R‘s drawings are. I need to practice

Ei know, right?

Lalthough my more rustic approach is truly the essence of our site

if I don’t say so myself
Ei agree. its a nice work of art. but not nearly as funny as the moosicorn

 

Lthey honestly look like they could be an illustration for a children’s book
mine actually look like they were done by a child

E
i wonder if he’s cheating somehow.

L
I suppose that’s a possibility
but would it really be worth the time?

E
i dont know
is any of this really worth the time?
i mean, flamingos with ADD is a very relevant topic, but…

L
touche
although sometimes I need a ADD flamingo to get me through my day

October 6, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , , , , | Leave a comment

scuba ninja v. sharks

a guest artist successfully avoids work…
scuba ninja v sharks

who will win??

October 5, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , , , | Leave a comment

too soon?

This was sent in from a guest artist – and while it may be a little too soon, we’ve never been known to be sensitive or politially correct. Live on, Patrick!

 

SNF[1]

September 15, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , | Leave a comment

a match made in heaven…

L to A, E, K:  Here is a picture of the date I went on last night.  I think he is “the one”.  He brought me to the arboretum.

 

matchmadeinheaven[1]

September 15, 2009 Posted by | L's drawings, mythical creatures | , , , , | Leave a comment

Halloween Costumes: MS Paint Style

In honor of the quickly approaching All Hallow’s Eve…

witchrobotpirate catfarmerdracula

September 10, 2009 Posted by | A's drawings | , , | 1 Comment

spiders killing spiders

Editors note: This drawing was actually sent in a few weeks ago in conjunction with our “collection of spiders” post. There was much procrastination and the guest artist is officially ticked-off. Here’s the olive branch.

spiders

E to L, K, A: We have a guest submission for the spider collection. Enjoy.

A: Oh that is mean!!

K: … and hilarious :)

August 25, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , | 2 Comments

Guest artist: a series of non-smoking ads

Harry

DinoSmoking

August 24, 2009 Posted by | Guest Artist | , , | Leave a comment

The dueling nuts.

War

E: so i realized that the dualing nuts are underneath a rainbow.

are they gay?

L: they are dualing nuts…

actually I hadn’t really decided to make them gay but wanted to make my drawing slightly more gay so what would be better than a rainbow
E: now that i think about it… is it “dual” or “duel”?
L: duel
good call
E: dueling?
that looks wrong.
L: I think it is right
although we should make sure because god knows biers will catch it if it is wrong
E: i love google.
L: ditto

August 14, 2009 Posted by | L's drawings | , , , , , | 1 Comment

A birthday girl celebrates.

SP! contributor, A, has let us all join in on her evening birthday celebration with the following piece:

birthday components

August 12, 2009 Posted by | A's drawings, story, Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

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